My buddy Leno and I “invented” it a year ago when we were laid-over in Salt Lake City. It passes the time, and though it’s more fun to play with a friend, I find it’s making me smile. It’s called “That person looks like....”
So far I’ve found:
- Short Jennifer Esposito
- The bad guy from Goonies who wasn’t Joe Pantaliano
- Sir Ben Kinglsey
- Vice President Joe Biden
- Hope Davis
- Bald Jude Law
- Skinny David Hasselhoff
- Olympic Champion Michael Johnson (guy who’s borrowing my charger)
- The dad on American Chopper
- Mel from Flight of the Conchords (who just a second ago looked at the board and said to her traveling companion “Well...so much for the excitement. I guess I’ll go pee.”
- And - no kidding - the guy at the counter looks and sounds like a dead-ringer for the ticket agent in Home Alone. I love it.
I’m currently stuck in Minneapolis (had to spell-check that city a few times). My flight was scheduled to leave at 9:15. It’s been delayed until 10:20. I’ve been here since 6:00. That’s a long time in an airport.
However it’s given me time to do a few things.
1) Catch up on The Pacific
2) Introduce myself to the Starz original series: Party Down
I’m currently sitting on the floor with back against the wall near the walkway at gate A8. It’s not because it’s the most comfortable place to sit. In fact, it sucks. It is, however the only face within 300 yards of the terminal that has a power receptacle. Awesome. It’s 2010. Why aren’t power-sockets placed every three feet? I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised. I was promised flying cars and cities on clouds when I was a kid. I’m not holding my breath. Especially from the airline industry. For a business that does nothing but move people from place to place, I’m seldom moved by their forward thinking. These are the same people who went out of their way to ensure that no “two-way-pagers” were being used on my flight to North Dakota.
From this vantage point, I’ve watched no fewer than sixty people walk up to the empty counter fully prepared to board the plane only to slow down and stop when they see the TV flashing.
“DELAYED 10:20 pm”. Their smiles disappear like sand through an hour-glass. I think to chime in and fill them in on the details; how the flight crew is late coming back from Columbus, but I don’t. There’s something in me that wants them to figure it out for themselves.
And maybe I’m a little twisted (and I’m entitled to be, I’ve been sitting at this terminal for hours) but I’m dying to see a passenger go completely crazy. Ya know, just lose it because it’s an extra hour out of their life. Screaming. Crying. Yelling at someone. I don’t see the big deal, myself. There isn’t a lot I was going to do at 12:00 AM when I land that I couldn’t do at 11:00 PM. But no one here looks so inclined. Everyone here is pretty calm. The gentlemen next to me borrowed my iPhone charger. A couple people look tired. A few are reading newspapers and magazines. Some are on laptops -- probably reading my blog. Hey, who are you do begrudge me my day-dreams. How dare you?
This recent trip reminded me of some really quirky things about airline travel. Like how a) First Class ain’t what it’s cracked up to be. At least not domestically. Sure the seat is a little bigger. But apart from that and free drinks (which should be standard throughout all sections) the biggest benefit is that it expedites getting on and off the plane. Not sure that’s worth the upgrade cost; but I didn’t buy the ticket anyway. B) I love how every time the flight attendants prepare for takeoff or landing, they politely ask everyone to help them by ensuring their seat-backs and tray tables are in the upright-and -locked position. One three separate flights I observed passengers who just blatantly ignored this. But more so a flight attendant had to tap them on the shoulder and remind them to adjust their seat. My favorite instance of this was when one attendant asked the ass-clown in 8C followed by the guy in 7C followed by the guy in 6C. Seriously? She just talked to the guy behind you about this! Lastly...the flight attendants; maybe it’s the sexist in me but I picture flight attendants being young, cute and attentive. Delta flight attendants come off tired, angry, but well-meaning (not unlike a Denny’s waitress).
I suppose I really should get up and stretch my legs. There’s about three hours of sitting ahead of me.
- Scott Van Pelt with hair
- Gay Tom Sizemore
- Angela Bassett
- Mr. Moore from Head of the Class
- Tony Goldwyn
- Ken Jeong
- And Leon Carosi...the manager of the Malibu Sands resort from Saved By The Bell.